When expecting, expect the unexpected

***Re-post from November 28th, 2018

I did not expect to have senior year to kick my but like freshman year but it happens...

How it Feels When Freshman Year Kicks Your Butt (and then again senior year)

This is not a drill!

“Anything in life worth having is worth working for.” -Andrew Carnegie

This is not a drill! I repeat this is not a drill! The kid that has been waiting for college her entire life is catching a WHOLE ATTITUDE with this college thing. This is what’s crazy I have been preparing my entire life to get out on my own and be free. But nobody mentions that the good grades, the extracurricular activities, the volunteer service does not guarantee you the scholarships. Or that the awards you have received from the time you were in pre-k, mean bubkiss. Or that making a decision at 18, that will impact the rest of your life is absolutely freaking INSANE! Nope they just groom you to pass the test, make a bunch of superficial friends, and someday work a 9-5 you may or may not enjoy (most likely won’t like it). And we act like this is normal when we can’t even make the decision to drink legally (cough, cough) until we are 21 aka WHEN WE ARE GRADUATING! The absurdity of it all is a whole step above #PermitPatty having a doggie weed business (cough, cough). The point here, is that, as much as they say they’ll prepare you for college it just isn’t going to go how anyone tells you, because college is one of those things you have to experience for yourself, that’s life. Certain things we have to take the hit, for other things not so much (I’m talking to you experimenters, yes you, no shame just be careful while, as I sip this tea). All this to say, I can most definitely explain to you the phases of life not going the way you expected in college.

The Phases

“Winning provides happiness. Losing provides wisdom.”-Neil Patel

Phase One: Denial

This is the most dangerous phase. The beginning, it has the most detrimental effects: pretending to be fine, using coffee like air, watching excessive amounts of Netflix or YouTube to handle life threatening stress levels, being completely lost on subjects but not asking for help, texting friends and family that you’re doing great when you have lost your ever-loving mind for the third time this week, breaking down in the shower only to try and calm yourself down to no avail, tuning out thoughts with music at ridiculously loud levels when you should be doing homework, etc. etc. The danger in this is that you cannot confront a problem when you refuse to acknowledge it, putting it off is incredibly damaging to yourself and your GPA.

Phase Two: Acknowledgement

Recognizing you have a problem and have to handle it.

Phase Three: Oh Sh**

Beginning the process of handling the problem we spent awhile in denial about.

Phase Four: Ok, ok, ok, oh sh**

This phase is key it is when you actually get off you’re a** and do something for the first time. The effects of this phase can include but are not limited to: Cleaning sprees, backpack organization, bed making, intense stacking of study material, Cheetos (energy to refuel), finding and discarding all trash and denial phase remains, looking for inspirational quotes on social media, running around frantically trying to figure out how the hell you made it this long. This phase in itself is all frantic behavior, it’s your brain hitting the gas for the first time after being in park all semester, it’s not ideal but it gets you on the way to where you need to go.

Phase Five: Action with purpose

Planning happens here with your syllabi for all your classes, study sessions, and figuring out what else your cafeteria serves besides the garbage you used to fuel the denial phase (Cheetos are not a food group). This is the most important phase, it leads to the realization that helps you through the rest of the year: things may no go as you planned but the doesn’t mean that can’t keep going. Basically, you become the real college kid, that kid actually wants to be here and work for it, which is crucial to NOT DROPPING OUT! Trust me with all the debt you probably already started to acquire, stopping here IS NOT your best option despite what those scam insta accounts proclaim.

Phase Six: We’ve Got Something

This phase is basically the “results” phase. You’ll find that life is moving a bit smoother, studying happens more regularly and that grades can even improve here. In the previous phase there could have been trial and error, so, reaching this point puts you at reasonable ease. This is what leads you to your next phase.

Phase Seven: Comfort

ABORT! ABORT! Do not allow yourself to drift into this false sense of comfort. Complacency is the enemy here. Its another one of those dangerous phase markers. Here you have “put the fire out” but you have to maintain action to keep from going back to the beginning trust me when sh** hits the fan again you’ll be learning this lesson all over again and it is still going to be the hard way. DON’T DO IT!

The more you know...

Now that you know the phases it’ll be easier to address for the future. When things aren’t going as planned you just have to figure a new plan (see Phase Five). It is tough and that’s the point. In recognizing that freshman year is kicking your butt, so you can adjust and work to have a better school year next time around.