Where You Been at Baby Girl?

Hey…how y’all doing? Alright, I know, the M.I.A. status popped up out of nowhere. I was just up and gone for a minute. Not a text, not a post, not a checky notice. Nothing! And, although it ain’t take a year or two to get back at it, I should’ve at least stopped in to say wassup. I get it. I was pushing so hard for consistency and then here I go dropping off the face of the earth. I wish I could say it wasn’t my fault but chile…it was. I missed one week and all the sudden I was out of practice and not feeling like catching up. That is the toughest thing about creating a habit. It seems like no matter how hard you try to create one, defecting to what you have always done is still so easy. And, I know I have said getting out of that funk is hard but lawd have mercy. It never ceases to amaze me that I keep having to confront that hard truth. So what knocked me out of my funk this time around? Friday the 13th. I know, I know? Cue the “girl what?” I just know people must be thinking. For those that do not know, I am not a horror movie person and I do not go out of my way to tempt fate but I needed something that was just purely for me and about me to jump-start my system. Nothing does that better than a good deal, an exercise in patience, and some artistic choices I’d rather not tell my momma about. Come on y’all, let me explain.

It starts with a plan to leave work a little early. Last minute, of course, in order to get out to an event on a social media flyer. There were going to be dozens of flash designs that were only $13 dollars a piece and you could get as many as you want. Tattoos have quietly become one of my favorite things to get. Most times I design for myself but, truth is, if I can find a meaning in the art, I am pretty much down for whatever. Now, the event was from 12 pm to 12 am, and I thought 5 or 6 o'clock would be early enough to get in and get out. Just a short excursion on a Friday night all by my lonesome. Nothing too grand. And girl math dictates that since the tattoo is in cash only, I really am not really spending anything on this body artwork. By the time I leave the house, my phone is at about 80% charge and I think this is more than enough to cover me for a couple hours. I'll wait around for a while, have my number called, and be back home before it even gets too dark. Well let me tell you what didn’t happen? That. When I arrive and sign my name on the sheet I could’ve sworn to you I was #269. I was just so sure that I was that number and had that etched in my brain like it was the only possibility. We’ll get back to that in a second. When I signed my name, I came outside to wait because they had these large square planters I could sit my big injured booty down on until I heard my name called. Now they mentioned they were moving right on through the list so I didn’t think to ask what number they were on. I heard conversation and whispers from people that were already there and waiting around. By the time I had arrived, at 6 pm, there were about 167 people that had already been tatted and sent on their way. Now, ain’t too many times my finance brain kicks into overdrive but when I heard the numbers, I needed to get mathing. Quickly, 167/6 = 28 people per hour, 269 - 167 = 102, 102/28 = approx 3.5 hours of waiting. Whew chile. I knew it was gone be a minute but Jesus take the wheel. I made the decision early on not to waste the battery in my phone and that I would be going to have dinner at a restaurant nearby while I waited. I can burn through a few hours alright. After the first hour, I go get food and spend another hour inside Five Guys. Love me some cajun fries. Packed the leftovers in my bag and headed back to the shop.

At this point, it is now pouring rain and the early crowd has dissipated. Where they were playing card games and using sidewalk chalk for community art, there are now just people smoking and chatting against the backdrop of rain. After another hour or so, I hear them getting to the #240 crowd, which makes me so excited. With the pitter-patter of rain and the wind becoming unforgiving, I can’t help but start to feel the fatigue set in and my butt aching from all the mulch I kept having to knock off from the planter. After hours of waiting, I hear #264 being called and am waiting quietly inside the shop door to hear my name. At this point, I have run into people I knew in high school, smelled every type of vape cartridge there is on this side of the Mason-Dixon, and just know my mother would be telling me I’ll catch a cold the way I had no jacket in the rain. As my phone is nearing maybe 15% of charge left, I am terrified I’ll be stranded since my ride is just an Uber call away. They get to #270 and I am stumped as to why my name is not being called. I go up to the counter to try and figure out the cause; y’all we’re #296. The numbers were beating the breaks off me. But with an average of about 30 people an hour and me being just about the number behind, it's back to Perry the Potted Plant to save my knee from a full-blown meltdown. I know it’s getting lengthy, so let's wrap this up. Eventually, through pure determination and a little kinetic tape, we get called about an hour later and settle in for 3 tattoos to be done and just enough to tip with the fresh $50 I had gotten earlier that morning. The artist went over maintaining the tattoo, and it was super cool. The place was spotless despite such a hectic day, and everyone was genuinely nice and professional. This was my second time coming here and I couldn’t have been more pleased. Nowhere else can you get 3 tats and tip for about $50 bucks. Thank you to Friday the 13th and the Memory Lane Tattoo Club for helping me check that off the bucket list. Now with 8% left on my phone, a freshly tattooed arm, and $50 lighter I don’t know I have been that excited to get home in a long time. And despite the wait, it was more than worth it to get out of the funk.

What about it was so great? It just felt good. Like meeting up with your friends you haven’t seen in a while or drinking a good cup of coffee. It just hits the soul right when you do something you know will bring you joy. When you don’t have to go out of your way to synthesize it and try to make the best out of a bad situation but instead settle in for the reward of dopamine you’ve earned. Maybe this sounds like a nightmare of a Friday night for other people, but for me, it was a memory that’ll be locked in. A good and happy one where I just went out on my own and didn’t wait for permission or beg for someone to join me. Sometimes it is just good to get a win without too much extra work. I have grown rather accustomed to giving up so much of myself to work or family or friends that just sitting and people watching and waiting without any other obligations on my mind felt refreshing. And you know me, I am an inside girly to the day I am gone but being outside alone can be nice too. Just taking up space for yourself can be empowering. Something just seems so beautiful and sacred about it. What about this seems so important? At least enough to get back to writing? I don’t know. I don’t have an answer. I can’t tell you it changed the world. Can’t tell you it was life-changing. Can’t even tell you I would definitely do it again. I can tell you it just did the system some good. I can tell you that in a world like today that's important. I can tell you we're back! And I hope that’s enough. More so, I’ll have to make it enough.

I guess this is just the reminder to take something for you. Whatever comes to mind, do it. Make a day or night of it. Do something outside the routine. Take time off work for you. Go out by yourself and feel something new or exciting. Take whatever time you want to and give yourself the chance to feel genuine happiness. You deserve it as much as any other person and never forget that. I went out and got a (few) tattoos and came back with the energy to get writing again. Maybe doing the thing you have been putting off for yourself will be the very thing to move you into your next era. Shaka Khan said it best, “ I’m every woman, it’s all in me”. Maybe doing something just for you will help you find whatever you may be looking for. And if you score a good deal on the way, I ain't mad at you. Go get yours baby, you got it. See you soon.